Waxing a lyrical or bedazzling Vajazzling?

I know I am probably hopping on the back of a long since sailed ship here but........ really??????Since WHEN did it become the craze to stick crystals on your FOOF?!?!?

*sound of head dropping onto desk*

First there was just your normal hairy foof.Then there was all manner of waxing, shaving, shaping, pruning, preening, conditioning...Then dying it????Now there are crystals!!. Honestly. I didn't realise that one's foof had to have a fashion sense?!

Don't worry I'll get that for you.......ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Have you ever had one of those moments, where you have just reacted on pure fear driven instinct? You know, those times where the 'edit' function on the video recorder of life fails because the button is all jammed up with childhood irrationality and the processor is completely preoccupied with extracting you from the life or death situation *ahem* you find yourself in? Well, this is exactly where I found myself this morning. And I sat pondering this whilst on the bed, with just a vest top on and a cold compress on my rapidly darkening bruised knee. I didn't have to ponder for long.

I'm a Eeeeeeeeeeeediot. And a fecking large one at that.

Ambling Much.....

I think I'm ambling. Prevaricating. Procrastinating. Putting-off. Presuming. Pausing. Pondering. And perhaps a plethora of other P's that don't spring to mind right now. I'm limbo'd. Frozen. Suspended even. In a fog. That is perhaps a more accurate description right now. In a fog. A fug. If you like. Foggy Fuggyness. Like the scene in the Matrix where Neo is in a white room with only Morpheus for company. The world feels to bright and too dull at the same time. Like I only have to tap myself softly and I'll bruise. I feel ridiculously under-confident,stupid and dense, lonely, isolated, lost, fragile and all to hyper aware of myself at the same time. My voice, my laugh, my movements. I look at my reflection and feel like there is a stranger residing in my face. It feels like the candle has been snuffed out. That I am not 'alight' just a fading ember.

*sigh* How depressing is THAT. *head - meet desk*