Wednesday 29 September 2010

Tissues and Issues

Why is it that when you have a cold you are reduced to a sniffing, snotting, flailing, wreck?

In my head there are these TINY little virus cells rampaging around reeking havoc, against my usually functioning brain. They have the ability to turn my legs to rubber, my nose to a river, my sense of balance to zero....(currently I am walking around with a distinct tilt to the left), my throat into the consistency of sand paper and my sense of taste to that of chewing tissues. I almost sobbed this morning, because I couldn't taste my tea. Although the soothing hot liquid did much for my poor shredded throat.

Men, they get Man flu. They are flat on their backs in bed. They take to their bed with gay abandon, and lie star shaped emitting noises like a kicked puppy. Tea must be bought to them along with tissues, vicks, a multitude of shop bought drugs and bags of....'oh you poor darlink. Here have my last rolo.' and so on and so forth.