When I grow up I want to be.........

Strange thing. Stumbled across this little deviant on a friends Blog. And I thought. Hmmm what have I considered being in my life? What did I want to be? Because I sure as hell don't remember sitting playing with my toys pretending to be a Manager.......

|Considered|
A forensics scientist, Crime Scene Investigator, A fashion designer, journalist, psychologist. A marine biologist, A researcher. Ballet dancer, teacher, graphic designer. A photographer. A computer engineer, nuclear physicist, A musician, a Singer. A journalist. Archaeologist, A writer........

|Most seriously| Musician and Singer.......And a Writer.

|Dreamt of being|
Lara Croft (seriously), CSI, A biologist, A journalist, a photographer, A hero, Someone who changed society and the way it thinks. Free, Famous. Rich. Living in New York. A Musician.

-Being Strong-

|Currently| (Sighs) - Working in management.........

After reading the above I sat for a short while lamenting on the huh?!? HOW THE HELL did I go from all of that, to here??? And I think at some point, I got caught up in the playing the part I thought I should play, and forgot all about the what do I want to be........

I'm sorry for the plate i'm about to throw at your head..

One minute I am sitting on the sofa, calmly bawling my eyes out at the kitten from the RSPCA Advert, the next I am trying to pin my partner to the wall with a spoon.

The reasonable section of my brain is questioning this slightly abnormal behaviour, whilst in the other section, there is a rampaging homicidal maniac smashing up vases and screaming 'feed me chocolate' at the top of its lungs. Most women will understand exactly what this means. However every month I forget and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

30 going on 5........

Have you ever had one of those moments, when you realise that even though you are now old enough to have your own child, you can still become as terrified as one?

You know. Being afraid of the dark, but not admitting it because your grown adult logical brain knows that darkness, is just an absence of light. And that your lounge still looks the same as it does with the light on. But sometimes, just sometimes you think that there is something evil lurking in the darkness because you thought you saw something move? And its always out of the corner of your eye. That's the sort of scared i mean. That heart thumping moment when you are truly as terrified as a 5 year old that thinks she has just seen the Standard lamp on the landing move all by itself.

Well. I am not 5. However. I have just been terrified as if were. It was one of those moments when if i could have folded my very tall frame down into something very small, i would have. If i could have crawled into my own pocket. i would be there now.........

I am a rebel.....but only at the weekend.....

I don't believe it.

I really don't

.

I am shocked and truly horrified.

Jaw dropping, head buzzing, eyes wide shock...... I have found my.............. first ..................grey ......................hair................