30 going on 5........

Have you ever had one of those moments, when you realise that even though you are now old enough to have your own child, you can still become as terrified as one?

You know. Being afraid of the dark, but not admitting it because your grown adult logical brain knows that darkness, is just an absence of light. And that your lounge still looks the same as it does with the light on. But sometimes, just sometimes you think that there is something evil lurking in the darkness because you thought you saw something move? And its always out of the corner of your eye. That's the sort of scared i mean. That heart thumping moment when you are truly as terrified as a 5 year old that thinks she has just seen the Standard lamp on the landing move all by itself.

Well. I am not 5. However. I have just been terrified as if were. It was one of those moments when if i could have folded my very tall frame down into something very small, i would have. If i could have crawled into my own pocket. i would be there now.........

It all starts with a grand idea to use the sewing machine my wonderful Mum had given me for my birthday.

Now this isn't just ANY sewing Machine.
Because its not a new sewing machine

This is a 1970's........Singer Capri.

One that i must say, i really, secretly coveted for many years. But sewing was 'just not in vogue'. Until now. So i casually asked Mum if i could have her old sewing machine. To which came the reply. 'Oh darling, its broken.' So imagine my surprise when come Big Old 30th Birthday, Mum has carted said sewing machine up in the back of her car to give to me.

I'm not ashamed to admit this. But i was as giddy as a child who had just received a pony.

Now i remember watching My Mum use the sewing machine. So i had a vague idea of how it all worked. This one flips out from what looks like a deep table. Which in itself is really cool, because its like a retro gadget. That done, i plug it all in, switch it on, and depress the pedal. And like magic, the needle at the front leaps into life to prove that, yes indeed, it might be an old sewing machine. But it still works......

By this point, i am about ready to combust with excitement.

Rather proudly, i open the little metal plate by the needle,to put the bobbin in and being the process of threading the thread. Suddenly the needle starts going back and forth like a piston. Bearing in mind that this was made in the 1970's there is nothing automated about the sewing machine. But my first thought was, 'oh that's clever its winding itself.' So hastily whipping my fingers out of the way i step back and look at my partner beaming quite proudly. Until they ask, 'have you stepped on the pedal by accident?' I hadn't. Cue eyes being pulled downwards to said pedal, which is s l o w l y depressing itself, towards the floor as the needle speeds up faster and faster.

By this point I can literally feel my eyebrows trying to crawl off of my face, and i am in the grips of completely irrational fears. Then, to cap it all off, smoke starts seeping out from the sides and the underneath of the pedal, and that's it.

I didn't even pause.

I ran.....

yes i actually took of like a gazelle and ran away from the still smoking, still sewing, sewing machine, because the first through that passed through my head was this.

Oh my god its haunted.....

Thank the lord that my partner still had decorum enough to unplug the bloody thing, because i was too busy trying to fold myself up to fit in my own pocket.

I will honestly admit, that i genuinely thought that my mum had given me a haunted sewing machine. That there was some sort of malevolent presence in it. That it was possessed.

About 30 seconds after i had run away, My partner was treated to the sound of raucous snorting emanating from the bottom of the stairs, as i clung to the banister, crying with laughter at the absolute hilarity of the situation. I had just run away from a haunted sewing machine.

Apparently it takes 30 seconds to regain your equilibrium, but a mere 5 seconds to loose it.

Of course the first thing i had to do was phone mum............ and tell her all about the malevolent foot pedal!

Its strange thought isn't it? As hysterical as that was. Even though i am 30, the first thing i wanted to do, was call my Mum.............