Sometimes its easy to chuck the towel in isn’t it? Walk away. Turn your back. Mooch off into the sunset. Letting someone down is unbelievably simple. You stop extending out your hands and watch as they fall down in front of you. You pack up all those memories you shared and store them neatly in a box in your brain and think, well, it was bound to happen. Maybe your mind drifts to them every now and again and for a moment you mourn what you have lost. But calling them would be too awkward. Best to let it lie. Best to let them go.
It is terribly easy to let things flounder. To stop calling. To state you’ve been too busy. Your life is in a different place. You’ve grown apart. And even though sometimes someone has been a massive part of your life. Rather than fighting to hold onto it, you simple extend you hand, and watch as it runs through your fingers, to never be seen again.
Sound familiar? It’s a piece of life at the moment that is irking me to the core. In a ridiculous fashion. Because it unnecessary. Its hurtful. And it sucks.
You know what isn’t actually hard at all? Contact. Maintenance. Appreciation. Holding on. And I’m not talking writing an essay of a letter once a week. (Although letters are old school, I think they are still lovely!) A frigging Text/call once a month would do you.
People on this score completely confuse me. Either you are there, or you are not. You are friends or you are not. And what I TOTALLY fail to understand is the whole, Oh they’ve got a boyfriend/girlfriend/goat/cat/dog now, you won’t see them for a while.
Really? Why? Does the new addition to theirs lives require 24/7 maintenance? Are they unable to see anyone else bar that person? Do their lives suddenly only have room for one? I can understand this is you have just had a new child. I mean, that makes total sense?! But a partner???? Surely not.
When I first started seeing my GF she lived in Scotters and I, in the lovely Swindon of Wiltshire. We skyped. Sometimes daily, but more often than not, three/four times a week.
- Did I still go to Netball on a Monday night? Yes.
- Martial Arts on a Tuesday and Thursday? Yes.
- Did I still see my friends on a regular basis? Yes?!
And we were in the first blush of a new romance where you can’t bear to be apart from one another. And we were living at opposite ends of the country!!!!!!! My life incorporated her into it. It didn’t eject everything else because she was in it. And yes I get that you want to spend large portions of your time with your new beau because you are usually (by this point) attempting the record for sex-a-thons. But seriously? To the exclusion of everything else in life? I think not. Its simply n o t healthy…..
And it’s not like I can talk on the contact front with my friends. They know, and I know that I am epically shit at that part. However I’ve known them for over a decade. And in general we are the sort of people who are absolutely RUBBISH at keeping in contact. For example…….Two of them I hadn’t spoken to in months last year. But when my Dad died, they moved heaven and earth to hold me whilst my world fell apart. And they stood by me at his funeral. They understand me. They know me. And they love me. As I do them. We may not be in the same part of the country. Or speak all the time. But we know when the shit hits the proverbial; we can call on each other. And we will be there.
What I hate, and I have out sourced far too much of my time on these people. Is takers. The ones where you are there for them, at every crisis, every turn, every stupidly late night/early morning phone call. You come rushing to their aid and you do it, not because you are seeking a ticket to heaven, but because you genuinely give a crap. BUT the minute you need them, you don’t see them for dust. They don’t respond. Or call. Or text. Or contact, even if you are using all sorts of mediums to contact them. These are the people I would gladly round up and shoot. And the ones in this lovely bunch that make it a ‘Well isn’t that just punch you in the eye, kick you in the crotch oh so fantastic.’ Are those that never used to be like that…….
They are the ones that hurt the most. The ones that leave with no indication as to why. The ones who fuck off without even giving you a nod as they leave the room. And it leaves you angry, miffed, hurt and let down all at the same time.
If you haven’t spoken to your friend in a while. Frigging call them. Text them. Tell them you’re a cock and you’re a bit shit. Don’t let time tell you that you can’t do this. We have one run at this little thing called life. If they are worth anything to you at all, then hold on to them. You became friends with them for a reason. And usually, it’s because with them in your world, life seems that little bit better. An let's face it - who else is going to help you down from the top of a bus stop when you’re pissed?
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