To Assume, makes an Ass out of U and Me.....

Interesting isn't it. How you automatically feel safe with someone you have something in common. If someone mentions that they enjoy a particular musician, you start talking in depth over it. You admit you like that Artist to. When someone says they have experienced a certain thing, you have a tendency to open up and share with them if you have experience of a similar thing. This does always carry with the it the inherent risk of someone rejecting you. But its human nature to draw on your own experiences and/or knowledge when you are having a conversation....you assume that the person in front of you, who is talking about the same topic is on the same wave length as you.

So. With that in mind. Where do you stand when the topic is closer to home? When its something that is in its very nature, sensitive, or, at the very least, could leave you vulnerable? Where do you stand when the topic you are opening up on, is that you are Gay or Bi? And if someone is brave enough to 'out' themselves in conversation, do you admit that you are to? DO you share that information to form some kind of solidarity? Hmmmm. I think it depends on the situation. For some, it is easier in a faceless environment. So lets take this 'online.' Which consequently, is where I found myself the other day.........

So we are in a chat room, (not one of those mankey ones, where you have perverts trolling). A chat room that enables you to keep in touch with your actual friends who are scattered across the globe in. A bit like Skype, but public.

So everyone is chatting, mainly about a convention that we have coming up, and someone happens to mention, a chap in there, that they like the name Darren. (The name had been mentioned) He then went on to say that he would like to meet a man called Darren. Because he reckons that they would be nice. My gaydar goes 'bing' and I think, cool, Ok. Oresome. So I test the waters by saying that if i hadn't married a Darren I would have married a Girl with a lovely name........

At this point I'm still thinking yay, solidarity. I look around and everyone's chatting, everyone's happy, there's a few private windows popping up. I have One of the Mums in there mentioning to me that daughter has just come out to her, and can we meet at convention we are attending, because she would like me to me her. And I'm sat there typing thinking to myself, this is why I love the genre I am involved with. There are few divisions. The people I know and have met in the conventions i have attended are open minded and embrace everyone, regardless of creed, colour, religion, or orientation.

So then, Imagine my absolute horror, when I pop back into the chat room and read the words

'Lesbians are disgusting. They make me sick. They should be part of a lower class of society.'

Someone else says.....

'You hate Gays???'

He says

'No. I would have to hate myself.......lol'

HOLD UP! *brain grinds to a halt, and eyebrows crawl up into my own hairline*

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute. The person who is saying this, isn't some rambling stranger that has just bimbelled in. Its the Guy who has JUST quite openly said that he is gay. So you can probably picture my face as I realise, not only am I reading this and feeling rather offend. But that the other people reading this shit, are some who are less confident in being out. So. Being me. I challenge this type of opinion. (SHOCK) What follows is taken from A friend of mine's blog, as i couldn't remember the exact wording...So thanks G.

"We decided to challenge his view, and he said that lesbians go against all sexual rules, whatever the hell that meant. I asked him what he would do if a female friend said she was gay, his reply was "slap her". He took offence when we said he was also was a woman beater, and said he wouldn't hit her but tell her to "snap out of it".

Again. Waaaaaaait A minute!!!! Now here is my confusion. Lesbians, apparently according to thischap are 'against the rules.' And I was confused with how a Gay man could hate another type of person who is Gay? Am I that way off base? Is my thought pattern that screwed up? I assumed because he was Gay, that he would be ok with Gay Girls too! If felt a bit like a coloured person hating another coloured person because they are slightly lighter in colour. The other thing that totally threw me was the mention of 'Rule.' I have no ideas about what rules he was talking about. And Neither did I have inclination to have it explained to me. At the same time, he is entitled to his own opinion as we all are. BUT. I did however ask,
'Would you call a black person sub par?'
'Or a Muslim sub par?'
To which he stated....
'I have many black friends, and I used to know a Muslim guy and he was lovely.'

I sat there thinking. Well why wouldn't he be lovely???? And really he hadn't answered my questions. I then pointed out that he was guilty of discriminating against Gay women. Which in the forum we are in, is not something that is tolerated. And that he should be mindful of the people who were in the room and respect that people are different.

The conversation stalled, and he then treated us to a last few sentences...
'Well I was going to eat. But you've made me feel a bit sick now. See you all later.'

You could hear the wind 'virtually' breezing through the room. A couple of 'Wow, biggotted much's' later the conversation started up again and we were off talking about the next time we would all get to see each other.

It left me thinking how sad it is that this is still happening. And that once again it has been demonstrated to me that even though we are living in the 21st Century that we are still plagued by attitudes and outlooks that should have been left in the Victorian Era. Who we love, who we marry, who we choose to spend our lives with, shouldn't be something that is open to ridicule by others. Unless you want to marry a goat, who am I to judge.

But it does go to show that, to Assume does make an Ass out of U and Me........